Kohler’s smart toilet promises a ‘fully-immersive experience’
CES has barely begun, but 146-year-old plumbing company Kohler has already stolen the show with what will undoubtedly be 2019’s hottest gadget: an “intelligent toilet” with built-in surround sound speakers, ambient mood lighting, and Amazon Alexa voice controls.
Truly, we live in an age of wonders.
Kohler’s Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet is one of those strange products that draws so heavily on buzzwords and tech trends that it’s indistinguishable from parody. In a press release, Kohler promises that customers will enjoy a “fully-immersive experience” thanks to the many “lighting and audio enhancements” of the Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet. They’ll be able to set the mood, using voice commands to cue up music and customize the lighting, all while Kohler’s PureWarmth toilet seat add-on toasts their behind to their preferred temperature.
The only blessing is that Kohler isn’t advertising the product as “artificially intelligent” or “AI-powered” — the empty epithets usually given to gadgets with tacked-on voice controls.
Grid View Kohler’s Verdera Voice Lighted Mirror now supports Google Assistant as well as Amazon Alexa.
The Veil Lighted Bathroom Collection consists of a mirror, bathtub, three-piece vanity, and toilet, with synchronized lighting features.
As the “2.0” suggests, this isn’t actually Kohler’s first foray into connected bathroom gadgets. The company unveiled its Kohler Konnect line-up at last year’s CES, with a smart shower, smart mirror, and smart tub to keep their smart toilet company.
Not much has changed since then. There have been some minor tweaks (the Verdera Voice Lighted Mirror now supports Google Assistant in addition to Amazon Alexa, for example, and the lighting now uses the Philips Hue API) but the basic offering remains the same. You get music, you get lights, you get Kohler’s PerfectFill™ bathtub technology drawing you a bath to your “preferred preset temperature and desired depth with a simple voice command.” Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution brought us to this.
The main news is that Kohler has finally released pricing for these devices, as reported by CNET. Its smart mirrors start at $1,249 for the 24-inch version, going up to $1,624 for the 40-inch size; the DTV+ Shower System with voice commands and spa presets costs $3,000; the free-standing bathtub, part of the Veil Lighted Bathroom Collection, costs $4,849; and the star of the show, the Numi Intelligent Toilet, goes for $7,000 (or $9,000 in black).
Anyway, if you feel like your life has been missing an app for your bathroom and a fanfare when you use the john, you can find out more about Kohler’s Konnect line-up on the company’s website. Get ready to immerse yourself, fully.
Australian Open Style: The Good, the Bad & the Weird
Those of us working from home to the comforting background grunts of 2021’s Australian Open have been treated to plenty of decent tennis this week (Kyrgios taking out Humbert in five sets, what a match!) Play aside, there’s also been the usual onslaught of off-the-wall sportswear to chew over. Yohji Yamamoto stans and those who subscribe to an all-black wardrobe, look away now.
Dubbed “The Happy Slam,” Melbourne is a tournament where players don their brightest outfits in a nod to the country’s sunny season (who can forget Andre Agassi’s “Pirate” bandana? Or more recently, when Italy’s Fabio Foggini looked as if he had just been served through a BAPE store?) There’s a boisterous-yet-amicable atmosphere in the Rod Laver Arena that filters down to the court — like a football match with middle-income families in place of lads doing bumps in the toilet. Sartorially speaking, I’ve always thought that if Wimbledon is the sport’s answer to Bruce Boyer — traditional, classy, timeless — then the Open is the irreverent line-rat decked to the nines in retina blinding streetwear.
Getty Images / Daniel Pockett
One of the major talking points at this year’s edition has come courtesy of Germany’s bright hope Alexander Zverev, who made headlines (seriously) when he stepped out in a sleeveless adidas shirt. As one of tennis’s most stylish stars (you may recall he wore head-to-toe adidas by Pharrell at the US Open) it’s hard to rip on Sascha too hard, but man, what he was thinking?! Pulling no punches, broadcaster Catherine Whitaker noted that unless you have “Nadal-type biceps” — i.e., front row seats to the gun show — then it’s probably best to play things safe with a T-shirt (Zverev once even said it himself). Outside Rafa, perhaps only Argentine Juan Martín del Potro has successfully nailed the muscle shirt, and that’s because he’s a proverbial man-mountain with arms the size of my thighs. I mean, how ridiculous did Grigor Dimitrov look a few years back? Someone get this man a protein shake.
Getty Images / Quinn Rooney
Another shocker of a fit was delivered by world number one Novak Djokovic, whose gear supplier Lacoste has seemingly attempted to transform him into an actual human crocodile. Since joining the French company in 2017, the duo has barely missed a beat, delivering kits that hit the sweet spot between fun and classy — we all remember this work of art. Here, though? It’s way too green. Other meh moments include Dominic Thiem’s adidas x Parley kit — an admirable concept, but features the most on-the-nose design idea ever — and the aforementioned Nadal’s bland orange tee (no more sleeves, please!)
Getty Images / Cameron Spencer
It’s not all doom and gloom, however. Before crashing out in the first round, a struggling-for-fitness Kei Nishikori looked damn smart in a slick black and red getup by Uniqlo (which, since stepping into the tennis game, has consistently killed it — haste ye back, King Rodger). To give the Three Stripes some credit, Stefanos Tsitsipas — a ridiculously handsome man possibly carved from hallowed Greek marble — also got it right; his duds looked almost YEEZY-esque.
Getty Images / Quinn Rooney
My absolute favorite doesn’t come from the men’s game, but the women’s and Serena Williams. Never one to disappoint, this year the GOAT opted for a one-legged catsuit in a tribute to late American athlete Florence Griffith Joyner. Known for her striking looks, Flo-Jo passed away at the tragically young age of 38, but not before leaving an indelible mark on a young Williams. “Watching her fashion, just always changing. Her outfits were always amazing," said the legend. “The Nike team actually thought of this design of inspiration from Flo-Jo. I was like, ‘Oh, my God, this is so brilliant.’” What a reference; what a look.
By Top Leading Players – B?rkert, Emerson, Flowserve, General Electric, Siemens, Metso, Rotork – Express Keeper
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